Working Hard...

These two had their second year of their "job" where they haul wood for a widow named Diana. It is a pretty hard thing. They come once a week and take 3 or 4 wagon/wheelbarrow loads of wood from her wood stack to her house and stack it inside (maybe 150 feet) and the loads are heavy and they do it whether it is muddy, snowy and even hot...(yes they still hauled wood in May this year and worked up quite a sweat doing so). This picture below is from last year- it was much harder for them and I helped them a lot more. We actually all kind of dreaded the days that we had to go haul wood. But they were each paid $5 each time and we knew it would be a good experience for them.

The picture below is from this year- they were much more capable and I helped much less this year- however- there were much more difficult conditions thanks to the hard winter we had. We even had to use sleds since the wagons wouldn't even roll in the deep snow. Something else changed this year- I started to look forward to Wednesdays. I felt like I could see their natures being changed from having to do this hard work and I loved the hour or so that we could spend together trying to work a little harder and talking to Diana (I would often challenge them to try and learn something new about Diana and try to hold a conversation with her).

This job has been a blessing and taught (not only them but me) much more about the value of work, money and being polite. I am grateful they have this opportunity!

4 Kids...

I love being a mom. It is the best and most challenging undertaking imaginable. It also enriches my life more than I could possibly explain or imagine.

I did say it was challenging. Right? Because boy is it ever. I feel like I fail in so many ways, so often(thankfully we have new mornings each day to try again). Having three kids was a huge and difficult adjustment for me. It was a little overwhelming- so I was nervous to have our fourth. I was told if I could do 3 then I could do 10. And while I don't think that is entirely accurate... I do feel like I am already use to a certain amount of chaos and so adding another to the mix doesn't change things too much.

But our babies are always fussy. Ty was certainly no exception and maybe even more fussy than any of them (besides Brig...he takes the cake as far as fussy babies go). I even cut out dairy completely from my diet (which made a big difference) to try and help. So this baby phase is difficult and sometimes feel like we aren't really making progress- we are just keeping our heads above water.

So why. Why on earth would we have so many kids if they are so difficult?

A couple reasons. The pendulum swings both ways- super challenging...but super rewarding. Sometimes I feel so much love for these little people that I think my heart might burst. I can't imagine anything in the world that could possibly come close to recreating this kind of happiness. I honestly don't think anything compares- this is Heavenly Father's plan- families. And we are most likely to find true happiness when we follow His plan.

That is the biggest reason...the rest are just icing.

I love toddlers. I will be sad when I am done having babies. I will even miss the hours I spend pacing the floor and their demands that I...and only I...hold them constantly. But I will be devastated when I am done having toddlers (good thing I like them even as they get older!) That's kind of a silly reason...but seriously...it's true. 

I want my children to be best friends...as kids, as teenagers and especially as adults. I want them to have such a tight, loving and safe circle of strength in their siblings. And I think that a large family only increases the likelihood of that happening.

So yes, 4 kids is a lot. And yes, I do want more children. And yes, my hands are full...but my heart is overflowing- and I am so eternally grateful that Heavenly Father has entrusted me to be the mother of these beautiful people that I love so much.

Numero 4...

I am a little behind on making this announcement on our blog...

but we are happily expecting Baby #4...

the middle of March 2016

I was certain I knew the gender of this baby- I was quite nauseous the first trimester and KNEW it was a girl...since I was sick with Ellie and not with my other boys. However- I was wrong and our little guy made it very clear.  It is a boy and although we thought that a sister would be good to dethrone our little princess- she says she likes brothers and we are all excited to have another little fella running around.

I think he and Jase and going to be quite a pair!

 

I had a bit of a scare at about 16 weeks where I had some bleeding. After an ultrasound though- everything looked fine. I had a small sub chorionic hemorrhage but it didn't appear to be anything to worry about. We did see that he was measuring about a week small though.

 

 

^^22 weeks. Jase is still such a baby to me! ^^

 

 

^^25 weeks. And although I feel like the pictures are quite flattering- I am actually pretty big! He may be measuring small but I certainly am not! I had several people tell me around this point that I had really "blossomed" (that's a kind way of saying "wow, you are huge all of a sudden." And I really cringe when I tell people that I am not due until March! I got quite large with Brig and it looks like this boy is going to be similar.^^

 

 

A few random facts:

-The first trimester I really craved sour things. especially lemons, limes and grapefruit. And sour candy did the job pretty well too!

- I threw up one time the first trimester but was queasy pretty much all the time. SOOO grateful for the second trimester.

-My sciatic nerve just barely started to hurt during the third trimester.

-I have only gone to the doctor twice (and I am now 28 1/2 weeks)...my doctor has been in New Zealand for the past year and so I didn't have as many appointments with his fill in as I maybe should have. But he moves often and there hasn't been anything to make me concerned (since the bleeding- which I did go right in after)

- I feel so much peace with this pregnancy. That sounds silly- but with my third I was so anxious and worried that something was going to go wrong and I just feel complete peace this time.

- I think I get more excited to actually have the new baby here with each pregnancy- I cannot wait for this little guy to join our family.

- I often get looked at or told how crazy I am for having so many kids. I try to subtly tell them that this probably won't be the last...I feel so blessed to be about to have children and find so much joy and fulfillment in having a family. I don't love being pregnant and children can be such a challenge- but I want to fill our home with the sound of happy little people and help them grow into thriving adults who can in turn have their own families.

Three to One: Thoughts on Sharing a Room...

I try to be intentional with how I "mother." And so sometimes I do things and then wonder what I was thinking when I decided upon doing those things...follow?

Well, one of the cons when we were considering buying the Riverhouse was that there were only 2 bedrooms upstairs. This seemed like it was going to be a problem since we had 2 kids and knew we wanted to stay in this house for at least one more baby. (Yes...that is implying that we want lots of babies!!! Or at least a couple more:)

My kids didn't seem like they were old enough to go downstairs by themselves yet so putting the older ones down and keeping the baby up was not an option. Our kids aren't really the best sleepers and running down the stairs a couple times each night didn't sound too peachy to me.

Now- back to being intentional- we decided that sharing a room didn't have to be a con since it fit into one of our deliberate parenting theories...

Walker Family Parenting Theory #278 (or something):

If your children share a room, they are more likely to develop strong relationships with each other and less likely to be secretive.

Whether or not this theory is accurate is still up in the air but we decided it was worth a shot.

 

 

So here we are, three kids in one room. The room is pretty big so that makes it easier but we still had to get creative. Bunk beds for the older two and Jase sleeps in the closet...there were 2 and we converted one into a sort of "Dutch Cupboard Bed" thingy. It's kinda cute. And with an official name it doesn't sound quite as weird...right?

 

 

There are definitely some pluses to having them share- often times I have already been in the room attending to the needs of one child when another one will wake up needing something else...it is so much more convenient to be right there:)

They do wake each other up...mostly the boys. Which makes for earlier mornings...which I am not entirely over the moon about but it is quite cute to hear them talk to each other in the mornings.

And I think that after time it makes them more sound sleepers- they get used to each other making noises and learn to sleep through it. That is a plus for sure.

 

 

Probably the best part about sharing a room though is that after we have read scriptures and said prayers, I get to sit in the room with all of my children as they fall asleep. Every night. And even on those long days when bedtime couldn't come soon enough, I am so grateful to be the mom to these three perfectly amazing children. And as I hear their heavy breathing and occasionally rock one of them to sleep, I thank Heavenly Father that he has entrusted me with such a noble calling.

 

The Tree House Lesson...

We have kind of fallen behind on all the to-do items that owning a house requires. Life gets busy and if you aren't careful those things can really get away from you. However, those maintenance and house-cleaning items are not the only things that sometimes fall through the cracks...

The other day as Cory was finishing the install of our new Air-Conditioning system (insert happy dance from me!) he was up on the highest rung of the ladder and Brig stood below him staring up watching his dad work. Then he asked, "Dad, when are we going to build my tree house that we always talk about?"

 

 

Cory climbed down from the ladder and said, "Right now." They went straight over to the designated tree and I watched curiously out the kitchen window as they started to nail up boards.

 

 

I was so proud of that man I married when he and Brig explained to me their plan for the awesome tree house they were about to build. For the next week, we all worked on the fort every evening when Cory got home from work. The kids, especially Brig, were in heaven.

 

 

It turned out so great and they built the entire thing using recycled lumber! Brig drilled and screwed and passed wood and held levels and sanded and stained and talked and talked. It was really a fun experience for our family and serves as a great reminder to me of what really matters most.

 

 

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that :

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

 

 

This tree house project really embodied those last five principles listed.

 

 

I think it is also worth noting that the kids were much more enthusiastic about the process than they are about the finished project. I guess that just is a little reminder that we never 'arrive' and have to consistently and constantly strive for "successful marriages and families."

 

Trek Sample...

We were lucky enough to have the opportunity to join my home ward in their family Pioneer Trek. We only joined them for an afternoon (although I have a thousand pictures on this post...I can't help it- everyone looked so adorable in pioneer clothing!) but it was such a great experience.

 

It was hard.

The whole group hiked about 17-18 miles in 3 days. Like I said, we only joined them for about 8 hours. It was an uphill climb the entire way. Pulling handcarts. With families.

Yes- babies and toddlers and grandmas and grandpas. 7 weeks to 75 years old joined the Trek. This made it a really unique trek experience because it was so much more accurate to what the pioneers experienced.

We joined the group after lunch on Friday and got right down to work. Cory started pulling since a few of the men had to leave so that meant the kids and I would have to do our best to keep up. 

It was quite obvious that Ellie was not going to be able to keep up and the sun was blaring down on Jase in his front pack, making both of us quite sweaty.  So the two little kids were tossed in a handcart and Brig and I kept walking- hand in hand. 

Right away Brig started to ask when we would be done because his toes hurt (I forgot to switch his shoes and the ones he was wearing were too small. Oops. Chalk it up for making it a more realistic experience.) He was already hot and we were clipping along at a pretty fast pace because things were running behind schedule. 

I learned a valuable parenting lesson on those few miles we walked. 

I tried to "get after" Brig, letting him know that we had a long ways to go and he had to keep going. In my head I thought-  "we aren't going to make it. I'm already having to nag and pull him. This is just for fun and so far it's not. Maybe this was a bad idea." 

Then I changed my methods...I started telling Brig every pioneer story and fact I could recall. He did not complain again. I was so proud of him. He kept walking and when he would get tired he would ask me to tell him some more stories because they distracted him. 

Isn't that how it really is with parenthood- we can either drag and nag our children as we make our trek through life or we can get creative and make things more enjoyable for everyone. 

I needed that reminder. 

Ellie and Jase were quite the troopers too! Jase usually hates being in his car seat if he isn't sleeping but he just layed there and enjoyed the ride. Ellie was squeezed in between buckets and backpacks and she didn't complain the entire ride either. It was hot and bumpy and they didn't really understand what we were doing or why. But they were so content. 

That made me think about the real pioneer children. They were quite impressive! No toy rooms, no movies, no quiet and cool rooms for nap time. Just walking day after day. Children are ao resilient- it's amazing. 

 

I was so grateful that we could have this little trek sample. In those 8 hours, I gained a much stronger appreciation for the sacrifice and hard work those early Saints displayed. 

At one point the men had to leave and the women pulled the remaining handcarts on our own. With all the children and babies. 

It was such a good reminder to me--men and women are supposed to work as a team. That is how Heavenly Father wants us to make our journey. I'm so grateful that Cory "pulls" so much more than just his weight in our family. 

  

I was also reminded of the strength in sisterhood. As the women rallied together- it made the hard work possible. 

Like I said, we were only with the trek for a few hours. I was super impressed by everyone who did it for all three days and even more impressed by those who did it day after day for months!

Now it wasn't all hard work for us. 

We went up the night before and found a rather handsome "maurader" who harassed the Trekkers and made them find a new place to camp. 

They were pretty scary I guess. 

A few kids were ready to go home...and a few others were ready to throw rocks at them. 

That night, we stayed in a cabin. In nice, soft beds with pillows. We cheated. 

When we woke up the next morning we got dressed in our pioneer clothes and hung out around the cabin while we waited to join everyone. 

Cory was begging me to be real pioneers and even told me if we could homestead a place in the mountains that he would bring clean water in by hand each time I needed to use the bathroom. 

I said I would think about it. 

Friday evening, after we walked with everyone we gave a fireside on unity. It was fun to get to speak with Cory and try to think about ways to be unified as we prepared. 

It was also fun to see my sister Sydney. All day long people were coming up and telling how awesome Syd had been and how she never stopped pulling or pushing. We were proud of that girl. 

We were all super dirty and sweaty by the end of the day. I am still sore. But I was so grateful for the hard experience. Hard is good. And I think we all need to be reminded of that every once in a while. 

As we rode a four wheeler back to our truck that night, feelings of accomplishment and unity definitely trumped the feelings of exhaustion. 

I was so proud of my little family. 

I was so grateful for the legacy of strength and faith that those early pioneers left behind. 

But most of all, I was grateful to belong to our church- and know that all the suffering and sacrifice was because of their faith in the Savior. I was grateful and strengthened as I remembered that we don't have to push a handcart for miles and miles to show that same faith every day in our lives. 

In Reality...

It is my opinion that I have three of the most beautiful children I know...say what you will. They are adorable. And as much as I want to capture, treasure and remember their perfect, smiling, beautiful faces...

 

 

I also want to remember what real life is.

 

So, really...let's look and treasure the picture below...

 

This is much more true to life.

Dirty faces, mismatched pajamas (still on after lunch time) that are either too big or too small, leftover hair that hasn't been combed, and three kids that are slightly smelly from the fact that they haven't had a bath in 3 days. I'm just being honest here.

This picture was taken about 30 minutes before the picture above. Jase was playing on the floor and I thought I should snap some pictures of him since he is almost 6 months...bonus- he was already dressed...or still wearing the same outfit from the day before. The older two jumped in and we had a photo session on our hands...

The photographer in me came out and I hurried them into the bath and dug through my heap of clean laundry on the basement floor and found matchy outfits and we turned out some pretty cute photos of 3 gorgeous kids. But, I want to make sure I pick up both ends of this motherhood stick I proudly carry... this noble calling is the most fulfilling job I can imagine and I thank Heavenly Father daily that he has entrusted me with it- but it is certainly not always glamorous, it is usually difficult, and "often unheralded". And I want to make sure that I always remember that.

 

Stones and Light...

So parenting can be hard.  Like really hard. Don't get me wrong- I love it with all of my heart.  It is always what I have wanted to do and there is nothing I would rather be than a full time mother and wife. Oh- I love it. But I have mentioned before how three kids has been tricky for me. 

I feel like I have a lot less patience than usual and I get grouchy so much easier. Well this sweet picture of these three adorable kiddos was taken on one of those days.  The kind where bedtime can't come soon enough but is hours away and I have already had to repent so many times for yelling at one or two of them and I was feeling a bit frazzled. One of those days.

We had to go somewhere that evening and I just wanted to take a picture of them because I knew that even though things were hectic and we weren't really on our A-game- I loved this. I chose this. Well it made me start to think...

Something had to give.  I knew this was fairly normal to have chaos with three kids and be impatient and messy and have occasional fights (or frequent fights) between siblings...but I didn't think it had to be that way. So, I wanted to change something. And I turned to my scriptures. I read the story of the brother of Jared in the Book of Mormon.

To summarize: He has built boats for his people to cross the sea and go to a promised land, but they had a problem- they needed light. So, the brother of Jared is instructed to come up with a plan. He finds 16 stones and asks the Lord to touch them and be filled with light that when they are crossing the ocean, they don't have to be in darkness when they are being tossed around by the waves. Read it... it is way better in real life:)

I knew this story is true and that Heavenly Father could indeed touch something and fill it with light. And I knew that we needed light in our family...so I prepared my proverbial 16 stones. I came up with a plan and then I asked Heavenly Father to bless that plan that we would not have as much contention and more peace in our home.  Here were my "stones:"

-We have always done Family Home Evening but we had started to get a little too relaxed about it...I knew that there are so many promises from the Lord if we will be obedient to this counsel and so I wanted to have a renewed effort. We would pray, read the scriptures, testify and of course have treats:)

-I would wake up 30 minutes early each weekday and exercise.

- I would buy more underwear for Ellie (I know this seems silly but her accidents were a huge trigger to frustration for me)

- I would be more consistent about immediately disciplining the kids for fighting...as soon as they start to fight- I try to take away the object of contention and they sit in  a time out where I can see them.

-I have also tried to increase my personal study and worship time. I try to listen to a talk from General Conference when I exercise and read my scriptures earlier than right before I fall asleep so I can be more alert.

-We also had a family meeting where we each set goals that we would work on to try and be happier in our family...Mom and Dad would not yell, Brig would listen and not whine, and Ellie would try to not have accidents.

 

 

Our family is no where near perfect! But I can testify that Heavenly Father has blessed our family with light! We are doing so much better and I know that if we let the Savior be a part of our parenting...he will touch our families- and whatever he touches- lives!

Our Three Kid Groove...

Having three kids was a huge adjustment for me.  It was difficult.  Emotionally and just plain busy! I knew that people had said 3 kids was rough...and I had tried to prepare myself...but it still gave me quite a run for my money.  Early in my pregnancy with Jase I had read an article that stated that moms with three kids are more stressed out than moms with four or even five kids.  I also had several friends that were "concerned" for me since they remember their third kid was difficult for them.

I thought that I would be ready. But that little bundle of joy was born and the whirlwind began!!!

 

I felt like things could go from calm to chaos in a moment.  It was nuts! I was grouchier than I had ever been with my kids, particularly Brig and was so tired.  Jase had acid reflux and so he was a pretty fussy newborn until we got some medicine for him- but until then it made things ultra hard. He also wanted to eat every two hours...that is not very conducive to having two other busy toddlers running around the house. 

 

In my journal I wrote:

"Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in diapers and dirty dishes, legos and laundry and that I'm constantly feeding someone and then picking up mess after mess.  I literally shower twice a week and get ready and dressed maybe four times a week."

 

I think I may have even had a little post partum from the stress.  Then one day I was pretty thrashed from lack of sleep and the whole parenting gig and we were having some people come over for family home evening (and they were bringing us dinner- so that was nice) and my mom had stopped by for a little while.  She noticed that not only was I not ready for the day (at 4:00 pm) but that my house was pretty messy...I was not ready for guests at all! So she quietly took the kids in their room and cleaned up their room and then took them downstairs and cleaned that up and helped me pull myself together (ok that might be a little bit of an exaggeration but that is what it felt like on the inside!) That was my turning point.  I started to get the hang of things...

 

I still feel like I am much crabbier than I usually am...but I think that will start to improve as Jase sleeps better.  And our house still gets super messy super quickly.  I still don't really get very many showers and most of the time it is after lunch but before dinner that I get ready. And it still goes from calm to chaos in a moment...

BUT

I have realized a lot of good can happen in a moment. 

The moment when the house is quiet except for the hum of the dishwasher and Cory is reading the older kids a bedtime story and I am holding Jase as he sleeps. Good moment.

Or when we are eating dinner and everyone is laughing hysterically as Ellie and Brig crack "jokes." Good moment.

When all three of the kids are getting along and talking and cooing at each other. Good moment.

When we have nice weather and we go for a walk and everyone is just content.  Good moment.

So- all in all. Yes, three kids is crazy. But I love it. I love being a mom and despite all of the chaos there are moments that completely outweigh it all. And Elder Neal A. Maxwell said,

"Moments are the molecules that make up eternity."

 

We are finding our three kid groove one moment at a time!