Numero 4...

I am a little behind on making this announcement on our blog...

but we are happily expecting Baby #4...

the middle of March 2016

I was certain I knew the gender of this baby- I was quite nauseous the first trimester and KNEW it was a girl...since I was sick with Ellie and not with my other boys. However- I was wrong and our little guy made it very clear.  It is a boy and although we thought that a sister would be good to dethrone our little princess- she says she likes brothers and we are all excited to have another little fella running around.

I think he and Jase and going to be quite a pair!

 

I had a bit of a scare at about 16 weeks where I had some bleeding. After an ultrasound though- everything looked fine. I had a small sub chorionic hemorrhage but it didn't appear to be anything to worry about. We did see that he was measuring about a week small though.

 

 

^^22 weeks. Jase is still such a baby to me! ^^

 

 

^^25 weeks. And although I feel like the pictures are quite flattering- I am actually pretty big! He may be measuring small but I certainly am not! I had several people tell me around this point that I had really "blossomed" (that's a kind way of saying "wow, you are huge all of a sudden." And I really cringe when I tell people that I am not due until March! I got quite large with Brig and it looks like this boy is going to be similar.^^

 

 

A few random facts:

-The first trimester I really craved sour things. especially lemons, limes and grapefruit. And sour candy did the job pretty well too!

- I threw up one time the first trimester but was queasy pretty much all the time. SOOO grateful for the second trimester.

-My sciatic nerve just barely started to hurt during the third trimester.

-I have only gone to the doctor twice (and I am now 28 1/2 weeks)...my doctor has been in New Zealand for the past year and so I didn't have as many appointments with his fill in as I maybe should have. But he moves often and there hasn't been anything to make me concerned (since the bleeding- which I did go right in after)

- I feel so much peace with this pregnancy. That sounds silly- but with my third I was so anxious and worried that something was going to go wrong and I just feel complete peace this time.

- I think I get more excited to actually have the new baby here with each pregnancy- I cannot wait for this little guy to join our family.

- I often get looked at or told how crazy I am for having so many kids. I try to subtly tell them that this probably won't be the last...I feel so blessed to be about to have children and find so much joy and fulfillment in having a family. I don't love being pregnant and children can be such a challenge- but I want to fill our home with the sound of happy little people and help them grow into thriving adults who can in turn have their own families.

Ellie's Starts Preschool...

Despite my blubbering and hovering over Brig starting kindergarten, I like preschool.  We do co-op style with 3 or 4 other moms and take turns teaching. Its low-key, tailored to what we want, with people we know and love and lots of fun for the kids.

Ellie started her first year with 3 other girls...yes...4 girls, it is bound to be fun! Kali, Millie, Rosie and Ellie. We were pretty excited.

She looked so grown up and beautiful on her first day, I was amazed that it had come so fast. But I was so excited for her and knew she would love it.

And then. Then...two weeks into preschool I was driving her to the house and she told me that she wanted to walk in by herself. I was cool with that. It wasn't far or dangerous in any way! But then she got out of the car, walked her cute little self to the door, rang the doorbell and went in the house. Without me. She didn't even need my help! And I kind of started the blubbering all over again. How is SHE big enough to do that already?!?! I remember when she was born I would think of what she would look like when she was 3 or 4 and what she would be like. It was incredibly surreal for me to realize in that moment as she walked in the door to her preschool that the moment I thought about had arrived. She is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined as I held that beautiful newborn in my arms 4 years ago!

So, here is to these amazing people who are growing up before my eyes and I can't do a thing to stop it...

Brig Starts Kindergarten...

Just like that.

He goes to school.

And he is so excited and I am so excited for him...but man, my heart sure hurts. I am going to miss this guy so much! But he is going to do so great.

Today is his full, real day but on Monday he had his orientation where he went and met his teacher and became a little more acquainted with this whole school thing. And the parents got to attend also. While he was there, the teacher read a book about a raccoon who goes to school for the first time, at night. She asked why he would be going at night and Brig raised his hand to answer. She called on him and he said, "Because raccoons are awake at night and sleep during the day. Actually they are nocturnal." She was clearly impressed. And we were pretty proud!

But today! Today I am trying to hold my heart together because I dropped him off with hundreds of other kids and they are going to take him for 6 1/2 hours!!!! That is a long time.

 

 

 I know he is going to do great but I am a little sad about the ending of an era. However! I will now focus on the positive!

He was up bright and early getting his stuff ready for today. He told me he is excited for four things...recess, friends, lunch and reading. He has been looking forward to eating turkey sandwiches for lunch at school for quite a while now! He has some really good kids in his class and I hope they will become best friends- even lifelong friends!

 

 

 

Afterwards I was comforted to find a little support group of some of my friends who are also dropping their kids off for the first time. I was grateful that I wasn't the only one in tears! It was pretty hilarious to see us.

I may or may not have drove back at his recess with binoculars to see if I could see him. And I only left because one of the staff members came and asked what I was doing and checking out if I was some shady character spying on the kids. Nope...just a pathetic first time mom who is rather resentful of the school for taking her son for so long!!!

I can't wait to hear all about it at 3:30 today!!!

I sure love this roller coaster called motherhood!

 

A Mama...

This little girl is so much fun. And she sure knows what she wants...and it goes beyond what dress she wants to wear everyday or how she wants to wear her hair. A couple months ago, we were decorating cookies and we were telling Ellie how some girls decorate cakes and cookies for a job and asked her if that was something she would like to do when she grew up. Without looking up at us, she simply shook her head and said, "no. I want to be a mom. A mama."

I was so proud. I hope she always has that be her primary career ambition!

Just a few weeks later we were watching someone ply the violin and I asked Ellie if she would like to learn how to play- she promptly nodded her head (she LOVES music) and then quickly asked, "Wait! Can I still be a mama?" 

Being a mom is the most fulfilling career (and hobby) I can imagine and I am eternally grateful that I am blessed to be "a mama."

Our Sweet Boy...

I feel like I need to post a little spotlight on Jase. He is a little bundle of joy! I remember why this just might be my favorite stage... He is so busy but such a sweet little guy. Here are just a few moments from the last couple days that I don't want to forget...

Jase is crazy about dogs! And contrary to our other kids- is totally not afraid of them!!! He sees one and will start barking until he can get right by it. 

Jase has always been a sweetheart. Yesterday he just snuggled with Aunt Syd! It was pretty cute. 

Today, however, I was doing my hair and then looked over to the bathtub to find Jase just sitting perfectly contented in the  water. Shirt, tie, socks and all. It was hilarious. He had climbed in on his own and was just chilling. 

After a quick change- we were heading out the door when all three of my kids- including Jase- lined up by the door ready for a picture. I guess they are used to it by now. Jase will get one of his many crazy faces and start saying cheese!!!! 

The moment that takes the cake however is most definitely this one. Grandpa Walker sat by us in church today and Cory passed Jase over. He drank his bottle and then sat on his lap and stared up into his great grandpa's face for over 20 minutes. He then quietly fell asleep. It was the sweetest sight ever! He was quiet and perfectly still and even when the sacrament came he just reached out for the bread and water and remained on his lap. We were shocked at how mellow and still he was and completely touched by the tenderness of the exchange. Especially since grandpa is where our little Jase Henry got his middle name. 

This little boy stole my heart all over again!

Well Rounded...

I hope that our children can be well rounded.  I hope that they get the experiences from living in the country but we can still offer them a love of culture and help them excel in learning and education.

So it is important to me that I write down an experience, or a couple of experiences that we had one week back in October.

We receive compliments quite often about what an outstanding kid Brig is but this particular week we received two very different kinds of compliments that just helped us remember what a great boy Brig is!

The first: Kelly is a heavy equipment operator and has done quite a bit of work for Cory's parents, our neighbors and us. Well Brig loves all things tractor and farm- so he has spent hours watching him work. And they have developed a friendship. For example, one day Kelly brought Brig a container full of old trucks and tractors that he played with as a child. Well, one day Kelly was doing some work for our neighbors and saw Cory outside.

He stopped and proceeded to tell us that we have quite the boy and that he is really something special. The way he handles a shovel is very impressive and quite advanced and that he really enjoys talking to him.

The second: Brig was asked to give a talk in the primary program this year. I don't want to sound to proud or anything...but he nailed it. He kind of stole the show and was definitely a favorite. He was confident and eloquent and one of the youngest children. It melted me...and I was not alone.  The primary chorister...a very poised and talented musician- who is beautiful to boot...went out of her way to tell us that Brig did outstanding and was so impressive and she hoped we knew how special Brig was.

 

 

We sure do love this well-spoken, handy-working kid of ours!

Third Time is Still a Charm...

This may sound silly, but it kind of amazes me that even though Jase is number 3 and it's all been done before...the smiling, the cooing, the crawling, the discovering...I still am completely charmed by this sweet boy!

 

 

So when Jase discovered how very helpful he can be with doing the dishes it really made me flashback to Brig being this age and how he too would crawl right over as soon as I opened the dishwasher.

And I realized once again that despite how very similar they each are, they are all so unique and have such individual and personal spots in my heart.

 

 

(Jase is 8 1/2 months in the pictures above and Brig is 10 1/2 months in the picture below)

Stones and Light...

So parenting can be hard.  Like really hard. Don't get me wrong- I love it with all of my heart.  It is always what I have wanted to do and there is nothing I would rather be than a full time mother and wife. Oh- I love it. But I have mentioned before how three kids has been tricky for me. 

I feel like I have a lot less patience than usual and I get grouchy so much easier. Well this sweet picture of these three adorable kiddos was taken on one of those days.  The kind where bedtime can't come soon enough but is hours away and I have already had to repent so many times for yelling at one or two of them and I was feeling a bit frazzled. One of those days.

We had to go somewhere that evening and I just wanted to take a picture of them because I knew that even though things were hectic and we weren't really on our A-game- I loved this. I chose this. Well it made me start to think...

Something had to give.  I knew this was fairly normal to have chaos with three kids and be impatient and messy and have occasional fights (or frequent fights) between siblings...but I didn't think it had to be that way. So, I wanted to change something. And I turned to my scriptures. I read the story of the brother of Jared in the Book of Mormon.

To summarize: He has built boats for his people to cross the sea and go to a promised land, but they had a problem- they needed light. So, the brother of Jared is instructed to come up with a plan. He finds 16 stones and asks the Lord to touch them and be filled with light that when they are crossing the ocean, they don't have to be in darkness when they are being tossed around by the waves. Read it... it is way better in real life:)

I knew this story is true and that Heavenly Father could indeed touch something and fill it with light. And I knew that we needed light in our family...so I prepared my proverbial 16 stones. I came up with a plan and then I asked Heavenly Father to bless that plan that we would not have as much contention and more peace in our home.  Here were my "stones:"

-We have always done Family Home Evening but we had started to get a little too relaxed about it...I knew that there are so many promises from the Lord if we will be obedient to this counsel and so I wanted to have a renewed effort. We would pray, read the scriptures, testify and of course have treats:)

-I would wake up 30 minutes early each weekday and exercise.

- I would buy more underwear for Ellie (I know this seems silly but her accidents were a huge trigger to frustration for me)

- I would be more consistent about immediately disciplining the kids for fighting...as soon as they start to fight- I try to take away the object of contention and they sit in  a time out where I can see them.

-I have also tried to increase my personal study and worship time. I try to listen to a talk from General Conference when I exercise and read my scriptures earlier than right before I fall asleep so I can be more alert.

-We also had a family meeting where we each set goals that we would work on to try and be happier in our family...Mom and Dad would not yell, Brig would listen and not whine, and Ellie would try to not have accidents.

 

 

Our family is no where near perfect! But I can testify that Heavenly Father has blessed our family with light! We are doing so much better and I know that if we let the Savior be a part of our parenting...he will touch our families- and whatever he touches- lives!

Our Three Kid Groove...

Having three kids was a huge adjustment for me.  It was difficult.  Emotionally and just plain busy! I knew that people had said 3 kids was rough...and I had tried to prepare myself...but it still gave me quite a run for my money.  Early in my pregnancy with Jase I had read an article that stated that moms with three kids are more stressed out than moms with four or even five kids.  I also had several friends that were "concerned" for me since they remember their third kid was difficult for them.

I thought that I would be ready. But that little bundle of joy was born and the whirlwind began!!!

 

I felt like things could go from calm to chaos in a moment.  It was nuts! I was grouchier than I had ever been with my kids, particularly Brig and was so tired.  Jase had acid reflux and so he was a pretty fussy newborn until we got some medicine for him- but until then it made things ultra hard. He also wanted to eat every two hours...that is not very conducive to having two other busy toddlers running around the house. 

 

In my journal I wrote:

"Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in diapers and dirty dishes, legos and laundry and that I'm constantly feeding someone and then picking up mess after mess.  I literally shower twice a week and get ready and dressed maybe four times a week."

 

I think I may have even had a little post partum from the stress.  Then one day I was pretty thrashed from lack of sleep and the whole parenting gig and we were having some people come over for family home evening (and they were bringing us dinner- so that was nice) and my mom had stopped by for a little while.  She noticed that not only was I not ready for the day (at 4:00 pm) but that my house was pretty messy...I was not ready for guests at all! So she quietly took the kids in their room and cleaned up their room and then took them downstairs and cleaned that up and helped me pull myself together (ok that might be a little bit of an exaggeration but that is what it felt like on the inside!) That was my turning point.  I started to get the hang of things...

 

I still feel like I am much crabbier than I usually am...but I think that will start to improve as Jase sleeps better.  And our house still gets super messy super quickly.  I still don't really get very many showers and most of the time it is after lunch but before dinner that I get ready. And it still goes from calm to chaos in a moment...

BUT

I have realized a lot of good can happen in a moment. 

The moment when the house is quiet except for the hum of the dishwasher and Cory is reading the older kids a bedtime story and I am holding Jase as he sleeps. Good moment.

Or when we are eating dinner and everyone is laughing hysterically as Ellie and Brig crack "jokes." Good moment.

When all three of the kids are getting along and talking and cooing at each other. Good moment.

When we have nice weather and we go for a walk and everyone is just content.  Good moment.

So- all in all. Yes, three kids is crazy. But I love it. I love being a mom and despite all of the chaos there are moments that completely outweigh it all. And Elder Neal A. Maxwell said,

"Moments are the molecules that make up eternity."

 

We are finding our three kid groove one moment at a time!

 

Meet Jase Henry...

We are so happy to have this little guy join our family!

7lbs 10 oz

 

 I will try to write his birth story in its entirety here...so anyone is welcome to skip all the details:)

We were scheduled for an induction because unlike my other pregnancies...I was not super progressed and Christmas was drawing closer.  We wanted to try to avoid having his birthday on Christmas or as close to it as possible. 

This pregnancy had me feeling a little more anxious.  I just couldn't get comfortable with going to our small town hospital where we have had our other two babies, so we decided to leave our doctor (whom we really loved) and try a doctor in Boise and the big hospital. So Tuesday morning we went to Boise and left our other two kids with Cory's parents.  We got things started at around 8:00 am.  We loved our nurse! She was so great. She told us how our doctor had a reputation of being "efficient" and he really likes to get things rolling.  So he started me on Pitocin at a 6 (most doctors start at a 1 or a 2).  By 10:30 I had an epidural and things were looking pretty good- we were most likely going to have our little baby at around 12:00.  Then the nurse started to feel around and move the heart rate monitor and then she just slipped the oxygen mask on me.  She said his heart rate was dropping but she didn't seem worried so we stayed pretty calm too.  Then all of a sudden she hurried and called the doctor with a little bit of urgency.  He was literally in the room in less than 7 minutes--he walked in, looked at the monitors, slipped into his gloves and jacket as he sat down, checked me and said "Oh good, you are a 10.  Push."

Ok.

Three contractions and less than 3 minutes later...our handsome little baby boy was born. 

 

The doctor told me I could lift him onto my chest after his head crowned and apparently the cord had been wrapped around his neck (which was the reason for his heart rate dropping). Our doctor was so "efficient" and composed that we didn't feel like this was a stressful situation at all.  I think that had our nurse not been on top of her game things could have potentially progressed to something a little more serious.  We felt quite reassured that had been the reason we needed to go to Boise this time.

I'm so grateful for the Holy Ghost's influence in our lives.

 

Jase was quite healthy looking when he was born.  He looked so tiny to us but he was our biggest baby yet...weighing in at 7lbs and 10 oz.  He had such a furrowed little brow.  It didn't really 'un-furrow' until a day or two later either. 

One of the biggest miracles of a new baby is how much a mom can love that baby right away.  I always kind of wonder if I will have to share the love that is in my heart but each time I realize that the capacity to love just grows and intensifies with each new member of our family.  I loved Jase right away...even if we didn't know what we were going to name him.

Ellie and Brig were not the biggest fans of the hospital and only stayed for a few minutes. Other than the big brother and big sister, our visitors were my parents and Aunt Monica and Aunt Sydney, and Cory's parents, a random second or third cousin that happened to be at the hospital and our good friend Scott, who helped give Jase a blessing.

 

 

Jase had low blood sugar when he was born and had to have his blood tested so many times (he had blood drawn probably about 9 times!) His little heels still have marks from the needles.  Thankfully, after a blessing and trying to get lots of milk in this sweet boy, we were cleared to go home the next morning. 

 

 

We had the ok to go home, but we still didn't have a name.  That is kind of important! We had several names that we were considering but finally decided on Jase Henry.  I wanted a name that seemed relaxed and laid back- and as sweet as this new baby!

 

 

We are all so grateful to have baby Jase a member of our family and he is loved to pieces! Especially by his big brother and sister!!!

 

Fall in Love...

It doesn't take much to fall in love with these two...

 

A Perfect Pair...

 

Success...

Growing up, I had lots of ambitions and goals- but the one that never changed was my desire to have a family someday.  And I love being a mom and a wife now.  Happiness has a new meaning now that I have a family of my own.  So, it really shouldn't come as much of a surprise that I hope that my children will aspire to having a family of their own someday. I want them to know the challenge and joy that can only come from the selfless service of being a parent and a spouse. 

 

So, it really makes me smile when I hear Ellie & Brig playing house together.  Here is a little bit of what I see and hear...

Brig is the dad and Ellie is the mom. They have a baby girl and a "brother."

They have family night where they go fishing, eat popcorn, go swimming and watch a movie together.

They go on a date and leave their "kids" with grandma...that's me...and instruct me that while they are gone their kids are allowed to eat 2 fruit roll ups, go to the pet store, eat candy bars, have a sleepover for 16 nights and swim all the time.

Ellie is constantly by her baby's side giving her kisses, singing to her, and comforting her.

Brig and "brother" do things together like chop wood, build things and jump off bridges.

They go camping and floating on the river.

The parents only get grouchy at their kids 2 times a day and the kids are never naughty. :)

 

 

Imitation is the best form of flattery. And I feel pretty flattered...I think we are doing alright.  Even if I do get grouchy more than 2 times a day sometimes;)

End of my Rope...

A few weeks ago I was just about at the end of my rope! I was completely worn out and was acting like a witchy-mom quite frequently.  One night, after the kids had finally gone to sleep...I lost it and just broke down.  I felt awful for how horrible I had been and yet at the same time- I didn't see any kind of end to how I was feeling.  Cory, being the fixer that he is, was offering all kinds of suggestions...and when he suggested we go somewhere- I immediately said yes! This took him off guard a little because usually I justify why we don't need to leave our kids with someone and get away...but this night was different. After that- I was convinced and we booked a hotel in McCall for 2 nights for that very weekend.  Thanks to my mom for watching the kids, Cory for indulging me, and lots and lots and lots of sleep...I came home from our little get-away a much happier mommy! It was the first time that I had left my kids at all (Brig has had a few sleep overs just for fun) but I had never left them and I had never even been away from Ellie overnight at all.  It was much overdue and much appreciated...I think the kids and I just needed to miss each other a little bit;)

So basically, I am convinced of the importance of just husband and wife time.

 

I sure love this fella...even if we have wacky eyes:)

Love...

 

These two are playing together more and more each day.  They are quickly becoming best friends.  They fight. They certainly have those moments.  But I love that they love each other. 

 

My mom always told me that friends come and go but your siblings will be your best friends. That is a little gem that I will be passing right on to my kids.

Mother's Day 2013...

I'm so grateful for motherhood. I'm so grateful for the mothers in my life- most especially my mother and mother-in-law and for the incredible blessing it is to be a mother. I'm so grateful to be entrusted with such a noble, joyful and challenging calling. 

Bedtime...

There are a few things about bedtime that I love right now.  I don't want to forget them...

 

like how Ellie wants insists that she sleep with her baby in one arm and her monkey in the other. Oh, and her wa-wa (water) can't be too far away either. And ever since we moved into the Riverhouse she has refused to sleep in her crib.  So, she sleeps in her pack and play. End of story.

Right now, Brig prefers to sleep in the sleeping bag he got for Christmas...on the floor. He likes to have his "kitty blanky" close to him.  It is an old raggedy blanket that I had when I was a baby- it is super soft and falling apart at the seams.  The doctor said I was going to be a boy so someone made this blanket for me and it is blue...but it has cats with bows and ruffled edges...we are just going to say that it is a unisex blanket:) Brig also asks for "ice-cold water" each night. He is kind of a little prince!

 

We have a pretty consistent bedtime routine that includes reading scriptures (only 5 verses) from the Book of Mormon and then kneeling as a family for prayer...I love that part! I love the strength that comes from kneeling together.  It is so tangible and real!

My absolute favorite thing about bedtime right now though, is after we have put on pajamas, brushed teeth (that part is not so fun!), read scriptures, and said prayers and the kids get on each side of Cory and he reads them a book.  I. Love. It. I get to just sit back and see the 3 people I love most spend a few special moments cuddled together in happiness (usually).

 

When the book is over Ellie and Brig will both try to convince Cory to read "one-more." And sometimes, he caves:)

 

Toasty...

 

These three warm me all the way to my heart!

Tidbits...

Here are just a few moments that I don't want to lose...

 

Elle and all of her cuteness on Sunday mornings...Getting a girl ready is quite a bigger ordeal than getting a boy ready!

I love when we all get to just hang out in Mom and Dad's bed on lazy mornings...

The budding photographer...and his cute tummy...

Once again...Elle got dolled up! Her hair is finally getting long enough that we can put ponytails in it- this was the first time we did one on top. Then we painted her nails...Cory says I played dress up with my live doll.  She is just that too...

Aunt Ponka keeps our kids stylin' and despite their faces, they did love their sweater and "kitty vest"...

Sometimes I am pretty sure their life is a bit too comfortable- but really...this is adorable...

Every night, Cory reads Brig a book. Elle is starting to get interested in them- for about 5 seconds (unless it is a Llama Llama book). I'm so thankful for a husband who is also an awesome daddy!